Reasons why I should not mix with polite company

I inadvertently told my history class that I had breast lumps. Well, not inadvertently. See, I meant to tell them that I had breast lumps, and that’s why I should not mix with polite company. I tell people about my breast lumps because it seems relevant (It was, by the way. We were talking about doctors and differences in practices throughout time, and my teacher mentioned seeing a doctor if you have a lump on your chest). Of course, it did not occur to me that, no matter how relevant, breast lumps just aren’t the sort of thing you talk about to your history class. At least, it didn’t occur to me until about seven minutes after I said it, and then I got to feel vaguely embarrassed about it all day.

Socially Awkward Penguin - Had awkward conversation, replay it over and over in your head later

Thank you, Socially Awkward Penguin for understanding me. Anyway, instead of spending my time interacting with people and improving my desperately sad people skills, I decided that the best thing for me to do would be to bake. Everything. See, I’ve decided that baking is my new hobby. It is a delicious hobby, and I love it, but I can also go overboard and wind up making more baked goods than anyone could conceivably eat. So for this post today, I’m going to link to all of the recipes that I just tried in one night and talk about the exciting process of baking.

Grapefruit Cookies
Original Recipe

Grapefruit Cookies

I apologize for my inability to take a decent photograph. I will definitely work on that in the future. So, these are the grapefruit cookies. The original recipe is called “Summer Citrus Sparkles,” and they are lemon-lime cookies. I’ve made the original before, so I felt pretty comfortable subbing grapefruit. Like the original, at least when I make it, the cookies taste more like plain sugar cookies with a hint of citrus-y flavor. They’re a good, easy cookie, but a warning: Keep them sealed up if you don’t eat them immediately. They go quite hard quickly if you don’t. I would recommend eating them right after because they don’t keep that well.

Coconut Macaroons
Original Recipe

Coconut Macaroons

The ones at the source are dipped in chocolate, but I prefer my macaroons plain and am intensely lazy. Warning, warning, warning! If you use sweetened coconut flakes, reduce the amount of sugar you use. I assumed that, because the recipe didn’t specify and Walmart didn’t sell unsweetened, that the amount of sugar would work with sweetened flakes. I almost lost the crown on my back molar. That said, once they went a little stale and hardened up enough not to injure my mouth, they were quite good. Actually, they were good when they could injure your mouth. I just wouldn’t recommend chewing.

Applesauce
Original Recipe

Applesauce

OK, this one isn’t technically a baked good, but it’s practically a dessert, so it counts. I wouldn’t really consider this one an applesauce because you don’t puree it. It’s more like cinnamon apples cooked over the stove. It’s really good and easy to make; however, the recipe blog I got this from seems to have a different idea of how long it takes things to thicken than I do. The original states that the water will evaporate in ten minutes. I definitely cooked them for more than forty minutes. Still delicious.

Earl Grey Cupcakes
Original Recipe

Earl Grey Cupcakes

Once again, I have made a recipe that claimed to be for a certain number of cupcakes and wound up getting an extra cake out of it. The carrot cake recipe I use makes enough for twelve cupcakes and a cake, and that’s what this recipe does as well. The cupcake texture is really good. It has a nice, small, and fluffy crumb. Also, the little tea speckles make them really cute looking. Like the cookies, it doesn’t keep for that long, but the texture is so great, that I don’t want to play with using oil instead to keep them moister longer. The frosting is a lemon buttercream, but I did the cake with a lemon cream cheese, and it was really good too. In the future, I think I will open the teabags into the milk at room temperature so that they can steep. My cakes weren’t obviously tea flavored.

I ate a good portion of everything I baked. Man was not meant to consume four cookies, three macaroons, half a pot of stovetop-cooked apples, and two cupcakes. I practically felt the bony hand of death grip my stomach. On a last note, I’ve taken up embroidery. I’m terrible at it, but that has never stopped me before.

I have an idea for new blog posts that I would like you, my dedicated reader(s)’, input on. I’m considering trying to summarize Shakespeare plays in a humorous fashion. Does anyone think that they would like to read that? I promise GIFs!

PS: This blog is now a part of my Writing for the Web class! That means I will be updating regularly! Of course it also means that I just told another class about my breast lumps. Damn.

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3 responses

  1. I am well aware this is my own naivete, but the idea of you being vaguely embarrassed about *anything* is bizarrely alien to me.

    Applesauce looks delish, tho.

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