OMG Supernatural! Have a cracked out review!

So… most of you probably know of this show that I watch.

Yeah. That one. And lately it’s gotten a little… well, terrible. I mean, I’ve never thought of Supernatural as quality television, but the last season (season six for those of you who aren’t counting) was absolutely terrible. I personally thought that season five was pretty weak, but it at least had its moments. I came into the season seven premiere of Supernatural a little blind because I had actually dozed off several times during six’s finale. Like, I sort of faded out when Castiel started talking to Balthazar, and when I woke up, Cas was stabbing him. I also missed the actual opening of Purgatory and Sam’s brain-wall-thing collapsing. Anyway, what I’m trying to say is that it was pretty weak. Not only that, but I do not know what exactly happened to the directing, filming, and editing during the last half of season six, but MAN was it terrible. Like, “they gave a Red Bull and some Pixi Sticks to a seven year old boy and then let him shoot a couple scenes for the lulz” terrible. And the editing… well…


Anyway, I’ve decided that I should start reviewing things because I love over-analyzing and bitching and the people who I love are sick of hearing it. (Note: I’m pretty sure that the people who I love make up roughly 100 percent of my readers. Sorry.) SO! It’s time to discuss the season seven premiere of Supernatural!


“Meet the New Boss” begins with a little recap of that season that I really fucking hated, including the marvelously terrible and not actually shocking CGI of Sam in hell.

See, fans of the show (aka Delaney) will remember the season three finale where Dean winds up in hell. You know, looking like this:

See, one looks fairly bloody, dark, and disturbing while the other one looks like someone was trying to make some flaming text to put on their Angelfire fansite. ANYWAY, I DIGRESS. The first good thing I noticed about this episode is that the camera guy seems to have downgraded from ecstasy to cocaine. The camera movements are noticeable, but far less headache inducing, and, at least for now, they seem to be matching the emotion of the scene. Also, all of Sam’s new hallucinations look a lot more like that image of Dean up there. A few of them looked legitimately creepy. I’d like to take a quick look at things that are usually positives for me and see how they behave in this episode specifically:

Bobby: Bobby is one of the only long-lasting main characters to maintain a stable personality. He was the best thing about season six, and I particularly like his ability to smack some sense into Sam and Dean when they start acting like damn fools. Sadly, he doesn’t really get to do that in this episode. Nor does he to really shine snark-wise. Bobby is pretty neutral here.
Crowley: Much like Bobby, Crowley is just sort of there. He at least gets a little snark out, but he doesn’t do much except serve as a plot device. He is also pretty neutral.
Death: I fucking love Death. He is the best. I don’t know how anyone could not like him. Honestly, whoever they got to play him is so perfect. His appearance in this episode is all kinds of flawless. He manages to make exposition decent too.
Cas: I really like the way that they deal with Godstiel. He isn’t really bad, just way overclocked. His smiting was pretty great. I think that they walked a fine line between making him relateable (Well, I think it’s a word, spell check) and deplorable. Like, don’t we ALL want to shut up the Westborough Baptist Church or ridiculous politicians like Michelle Bachmann? But you can’t just go around smiting those assholes. It’s sort of like, everyone thinks that they’ll be able to run things properly if they controlled everything, but Cas finds out that, well, maybe you can’t. After all, smiting individuals does seem a wee bit petty. So yeah, good job there. ALSO! BEHOLD THE GLORY OF STAINED GLASSTIEL!

One thing that really makes Supernatural great is the lightheartedness. Sure, there is a lot of dark, soap-opera-y drama going on, but there has generally been an element of comedy to everything. Someone on ONTD pointed this out, and I can’t think of a better way to put it. Sam and Dean are so dead now. If you watch the first few seasons, they had so much life and banter. As the show has gone on, more shit has gotten real, and the two of them have gotten angstier and angstier. You’ll notice that most of the humor comes from side characters now rather than the protagonists. A nice part of this episode was getting to see at least a little life brought back to the characters. Dean’s cynicism seems to have doubled back around and become lighthearted. I mean, sure he and Sam had the same: “Why didn’t you tell me the truth, man?” argument that they always do, but Dean ended it by watching Asian cartoon porn instead of storming off or something equally asinine. So maybe, just maybe, the new season will be able to bring back some sort of brotherly dynamic.

HOWEVER! Someone really needs to call Dean out on his shit. His refusal to forgive Cas or see Cas’s side of things is grating on me. I mean, Dean has always been a bit of an asshole but man. He thinks his best angel buddy is dead, and all he can say is “I told you so.” He needs a smack upside his head like, yesterday. This is the guy who sold his soul to a crossroads demon. He and his brother started the damn Apocalypse! Why exactly does he have this self-righteous attitude toward one mistake of Cas’s? I JUST HAVE A LOT OF FEELINGS, OK!

As for Sam, I’m looking forward to how they explain the mindfuck that is Lucifer just showing up and just taking him away. Like seriously, how does that work? I think it could be cool though. So as of right now, I would be giving the episode a positive meh. It’s certainly a surprising improvement over last season. Still, the episode itself was a little lackluster. You may, my astute little readers, notice that I said “would” rather than will. That’s because I have not talked about the best part of the episode.

Do you Harry Potter fans remember that scene in the Half Blood Prince movie where they basically just let Daniel Radcliff act like the crazy mother fucker that he is?


See, apparently, there were these things called the Leviathans which were the first beasts created by God. But they were totally running amok and being batshit insane, so God created Purgatory to keep them locked up. Cas accidentally a whole bunch of Leviathans when he was taking in the souls of Purgatory, and his attempts to throw them all back up (ew) failed because the Leviathans held on inside him. AND ALL OF THIS IS AWESOME. I LITERALLY MADE THIS FACE: :D I WAS SO EXCITED THAT I TURNED INTO A DAMN EMOTICON.

This is the damn truth. I really hope that they keep Leviacas around for more than one episode because this is going to be glorious.


PS: I have two papers due next week. I’m pretty sure both of them have a lower word count than this blog. I am, as always, a spectacular failure at time management.

PPS: I refuse to apologize for never posting. Almost every post would have to start with a damn apology because I fail at keeping a blog.

PPPS: Psst! Leviacas!